Global Striping

Posted: October 5, 2010 in Bigdawgz Howl (Funny Stuff)
Tags: , , , , , , ,
  • Al Gore saves the planet. Again.

 

Dear Aunt Barbara,

Thanks for sending those amazing photos of the striped icebergs.  I have never seen or heard of anything like this.

Of course, I became quite alarmed and decided we need to find out for certain what’s causing this. It’s obvious to me that some sort of scientific phenomena is occurring and should be adequately investigated. Naturally, I contacted Al Gore.

Believe it or not, Al was already on top of it. He sent me an amazing body of scientific evidence proving, beyond any doubt (by reasonable people, of course) that this phenomena is happening all over the world in what he’s calling “global striping”. It’s pretty scary stuff.

Undeniable scientific proof of global striping.

                         Al explained that this was being caused by way too much money in the atmosphere, particularly here in America. What he’s proposing is the “de-greening” of America. Essentially what needs to happen is that each of us as serious patriotic Americans and responsible stewards of the earth, should divest ourselves of the evil offender (money) as quickly as possible. He has developed some sort of “machine” where this money can be collected and safely “redistributed” in order to cause the very least atmospheric disturbance. We just need to send it all to him. If we don’t we can expect to see more outbreaks of “global striping” like these horrific photos demonstrate.

Horrific effects of global striping

No doubt, many people will be skeptical. There are always “those”, the ignorant masses. He says that’s why we have to get the word out through the most effective means. For example, Academy Award winning movies (tickets $12, popcorn $6), books ($24.95), public schools and universities, and Oprah. We don’t want to scare anybody, but if we don’t stop global striping now, our children could be next.

Al says "save the children."

I don’t know about you, but I think the country, nay, the entire world owes Al Gore a tremendous debt for alerting us to the dangers of global striping. I only hope that someday we can find a way to repay him.

Amercia says "thank you" to Al Gore.

God Bless America!  Your loving nephew,  Randy.

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